Every Death is a Train Wreck!

Posted on November 15, 2019 by the Bouchers

No matter the person’s age, or the circumstances. No matter the relationships left behind, every death is a train wreck! We received this warning outside of an Intensive Care Unit. It was jarring but emotionally true.

Every human life is so uniquely irreplaceable that each death can cause both an array of emotions and the shattering of beliefs about an afterlife. But each passing is also an opportunity for growth and for evangelizing. Here are some pointers.

  1. Know your own understanding of death. Do you really espouse the Apostle’s Creed statement, “I believe in the resurrection of the body, and life everlasting!” Have you ever gently shared these words with someone who is grieving?
  2. Grappling with death includes an extended process of questioning, so ask and listen,” What are your hopes for her or him, now that this has happened?” An end to suffering? A reunion with deceased family? Meeting Jesus, face to face? Or even: “There is no hope, only regrets and loss!”
  3. Be aware and non-judgmental about a wide array of beliefs. Some believe there is no afterlife. Some think that only the person’s spirit survives: through reincarnation, or channeling, or a kind of limbo. Still others believe that both body and soul are resurrected into heaven or hell (as a reward or punishment).
  4. Since the exploration of our vast universe, many are baffled by Biblical images like: a heavenly choir of singing angels, the New Jerusalem, the “Father’s House,” or even Jesus ascending into heaven. If so, ask, “Where and what is heaven for you?” And remember. It is a gift to believe that the gracious love of God can both fill and defy all time and space.
  5. Finally, it is hope in the face of death that is the most powerful invitation to faith. St. Edith Stein experienced this unspoken invitation when she encountered a friend’s widow. Many others discover this when a believing loved one dies in peace. Before Lois became unconscious, she shared a glorious vision of a taller-than-life Jesus in shimmering robes. As she looked closer, she saw deceased but rejoicing family members entwined in these robes –her dad, her cousin, her grandmother. “All of my fears melted!” she explained with a smile. And we realized that Lois’ impending train wreck, called death, was now simply a matter of switching tracks. Alleluia!
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Evangelize by Walking Around

Posted on October 10, 2019 by the Bouchers

John takes daily walks in our neighborhood. Others walk in malls. Still others prefer spending “down time” in a cafeteria or a lounge. Perhaps Jesus even enjoyed walking as part of his “down time.” If so, we are inspired by the choices Jesus made while walking near someone like Zacchaeus, or the two shouting blind men in Matthew 20:29, or the children in Matthew 19:14.

One Sunday, our pastor shared his response to Pope Francis’s invitation to stop and give to the poor, without judging them. At first, Father was indignant, but then he realized it was God’s invitation as well.  John was moved by Father’s sharing. First, John began to really notice the homeless people begging in the streets where he walks. He responded by giving a dollar or two, whether passing by in a car or on foot. Each time he would ask the person’s name, so he could greet them by name later on.

Pope Francis calls this effort the “art of accompaniment,” whether while walking, or in a mall, or at a cafeteria.  As John’s relationships grew stronger, he would stop during his walk for a few minutes and ask one of the regulars, “What’s happening?” He learned that some live in the nearby woods. Some others are sick and without health insurance. Some are vets suffering from PTSD. Still others are alcoholics or drug addicts; some in recovery, some not. But all are on the sharp, bleeding edge of human survival.

And also, John prays for each one; before, during, and after their greetings or conversations. Most respond very well when he mentions that he is praying for them. If someone does, John considers a conversation about the presence or absence of God in his or her life. Once he prayed aloud with a twenty-two-year-old, homeless and severely disfigured man, for relief from an advanced form of stomach cancer. He admits that this kind of “walking” can sometimes be a frightening adventure, but John is happy to call the people that he has met his friends. Many now greet him with a smile and a “Hi, John!”  

Please pray with us for the people you are tempted to pass by on your walk through daily life. “Come, Holy Spirit, Father of the poor, the neglected, the lonely! Give me the Father’s eyes to see each one. Grant me the compassion of Jesus, as I accompany these sisters and brothers through daily life. Amen.”

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When Everything Is Falling Apart

Posted on September 12, 2019 by the Bouchers

Our friend, Lydia, is a nurse with five children who, as a child, had survived emotional and sexual abuse. Still, she worked long hours with much kindness, while raising her own four children. Then one day her husband developed a very serious heart condition. Lydia was overwhelmed. So, she turned to parish friends. They listened, babysat and prayed with her often, even daily, until two years later, when her husband died in surgery at the age of forty-two. More prayer and support was needed. Then after five more years, when Lydia had finally recovered, her teen-age son was murdered in a drug related incident. Lydia’s parish friends rose to the challenge again. They put into practice some of these suggestions for reaching out to someone experiencing life-altering needs, or difficult transitions.

  1. Choose ONE such person in your circle of family and friends to pray for every day. Speak to God in a way that is beyond your normal routine; standing, kneeling, speaking aloud or singing.
  2. Recall the ways Jesus reached out to someone in similar circumstances. Then picture Jesus beside this person.
  3. Choose one concrete way to offer regular, long-term support; a weekly phone call, a bi-weekly greeting card, or a small act of ongoing service that is meaningful to him or her.
  4. Realize your limits. It may take a whole small community to offer prayer-filled help together. Ask yourself if you are in a position to mobilize such a group.
  5. Whatever you do, respond with gentle compassion, or as Scripture puts it, “Do not break a bruised reed.” Matthew 12:20

By the grace of God and through her small faith sharing group, Lydia was able to seek out and forgive her son’s murderer. She also became a public advocate for abolishing the death penalty. One of her favorite prayers became, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion… who encourages us in our every affliction, so that we may be able to encourage those who are in any affliction with the encouragement with which we ourselves are encouraged by God.” (2 Cor. 1:3-4)

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