Do you find yourself being hostile or “putting up” with someone? Do you sometimes avoid people rather than relate to them? Claire was inspired to surrender her aggravations with a co-worker and move beyond merely tolerating her. She wanted to “bear another’s burdens and in this way fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2). You too can choose to be a clear and effective witness to God’s unconditional love.
It began when Claire heard the Good Samaritan story during Morning Mass. As she walked down the church stairs to the bus stop, she was very uneasy. “What is it, Mom?” Therese asked. “Oh, I asked God to help me put up with my co-worker, Penny. She’s got a nervous cough and an uncanny knack for chatting when I’m behind in my work. Then to make matters worse, the only answer I get from God is to make her my best friend.”
We can only assume that Claire took God’s word to heart and found ways to befriend Penny. Maybe she turned and listened more often or started eating lunch with Penny. We don’t know, but when Claire died, Penny was heartbroken. “Claire was my best friend,” she told us. Penny was so grateful for their relationship that after Claire’s untimely death, she began visiting Claire’s mom, Jenny, once a month with a bag of goodies. Month after month and year after year, Penny drove to Jenny’s nursing home until Jenny died twelve years later.
We know that Claire took her cue from Jesus, who had an immense capacity to “bear with” groups of physically and emotionally needy people who sought him out. He took the time to embrace and bless a group of infants being thrust at him by their clamoring mothers (Luke 18:15-17). At another time, after a weary Jesus and his disciples had crossed the water to be alone, a sizable crowd followed on foot. Instead of being annoyed, “he had compassion for them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd; and he began to teach them many things” (Mark 6:34).
Yet again, when a blind beggar shouted, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!” after onlookers tried to silence him (Luke 18:39), Jesus stopped, asked the man what he wanted, and healed him. (This makes sense, because David was the king who knew God’s patient forgiveness, after he stole the wife of Uriah!)
Further back, it is easy to imagine St. Joseph teaching Jesus about bearing with others, in light of Matthew’s story about the birth of Jesus (1:18-24). We are told that Joseph was a righteous person who struggled with the news of Mary’s pregnancy. Since they were already betrothed and had made a formal agreement to marry, Joseph had the right to demand a severe punishment. But the Gospel tells us that he was “unwilling to expose her to public disgrace” (verse 19).
How merciful Joseph was! Instead of choosing punishment for Mary, Joseph decided on a quiet divorce. But even then, as he surrenders Mary’s situation to God, an angel appears in a dream: “Do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife” (verse 20). And so “when Joseph awoke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded” (verse 24). Joseph accepted Jesus and Mary with unconditional love.
We too can be empowered by the Holy Spirit to move beyond ‘putting up’ with someone. We too can let go of harboring potentially damaging reactions to others. Then we will be on firm ground for sharing our verbal witness without being a contradictory messenger of the Gospel.
***Excerpted from Mending Broken Relationships by John and Therese Boucher available on Amazon.
