Jesus rose from the dead and promises to share his resurrection with us. Nice idea on a Sunday when we recite the Creed. But what about when someone close to us dies? How do we act out this belief? A generation ago it was through a faith-filled wake, funeral and burial in a Catholic cemetery. But not now. Today, many people cremate loved ones without a funeral, burial prayers, or a wake. Here is an example.
When Linda’s husband, Clyde, died, she was torn between scattering his ashes, placing them on the mantle, or burying them in a cemetery. When she confided in John, they talked about which choice would be most respectful. For her, scattering his ashes could be a symbol of oneness with creation. On the other hand, a cemetery burial of his ashes would give everyone a place to remember him. Then John and Linda visited a cemetery together. It was the peaceful grounds, John’s gentle faith and the inscription at the cemetery gate that finally made all the difference: “This Catholic cemetery is a holy place… It is the resting place until the day of Resurrection for the bodies of the faithful departed… whose souls are now with God. It is a final and continuing profession of faith in God.” Some things that Linda experienced about the promise of Jesus Resurrection:
1. Although the Church prefers burial of a person’s body, cremation is acceptable when it allows for an appreciation of the integrity of the human person. This attitude was evident when we ran into a friend at cousin Albert’s wake. During our conversation about Albert, Tom explained that he had come to “pay his respects.” This is not a common saying, but it rang true for us. A display of photos does this. But converting cremains into jewelry does not. To learn more.
2. Belief in the Resurrection is difficult when a loved one dies. Bringing his or her remains to church helps reconnect us to Jesus and his promise. Praying at church also reminds us that our loved one is still a temple of the Holy Spirit, just in a different way. It also gives the family an opportunity to draw comfort by reconnecting with the Christian community, the body of Christ.
3. The death of a loved one can be a transforming experience, especially through questioning and remembering. Questions about final destiny and the meaning of life surface. Wakes and gatherings provide time to think and to feel in new ways. When John’s brother died, his estranged cousin, Carol came to the wake. After an awkward introduction, John put his arms around Carol and asked her forgiveness on behalf of their grandfather, who had ostracized her branch of the family. It was a healing moment for both of them. What had been severed was made whole. What had been broken was redeemed and healed.
4. Burying the dead is a many-faceted work of mercy. All of us can help: not with shovels but by paying attention to those who grieve –calling in the days, weeks and months ahead; listening to memories and stories; offering to pray aloud when pain surfaces; sharing photos of the deceased on social media; sharing statements of belief; offering rides to the cemetery; bringing meals and many other acts of physical, spiritual and emotional kindness.
“Now may the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus… equip you with everything good for doing his will… through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.” Hebrews 13:20-21