We would like to share excerpts from an article that our friend, Father Jonathan Slavinskas, wrote. In the two weeks since this was published on Facebook, this article has achieved a reach of 1,092,636 people, 3,100 comments and 9,100 shares. Fr. Jonathan has also been interviewed by Aleteia.org and Dioceses in Peru and Australia.
Every morning when I put my collar on I pray for a deeper awareness of the great responsibility and magnitude of what it represents. I am aware of my sinfulness and unworthiness to even touch it. Any of my friends or family can let you know my failures, they’ve seen it first-hand. I know what it’s like to say the words, “Father forgive me for I have sinned,” or to pray a perfect act of contrition before I celebrate Mass.
I was a high school and college student when the priest scandals first broke in the Northeast. I knew the constant scrutiny and the shadow that would be cast if I chose to become a priest. I knew the eyes of suspicion that would follow the title “Father”. But I moved forward in ministry and then into many parishes, resolute in my vocation.
This week I have been walking around with a heavy heart. I have been completely angry and frustrated as a result of the Pennsylvania abuse reports and the McCarrick situation. My continual prayer has been for the victims. As each news story continues, my heart is torn more apart. Now, the collar represents the complete opposite of what it should. As I walk around, I wonder how many people who glance at my collar will wonder, “Is this one too?”
What Will the Collar Represent Now?
These past days as I moved from the rectory to the church, from the halls of the nursing homes and hospitals, as I’ve passed out school supplies to numerous neighborhood youth, I’ve had this one thought, “Take the collar off.”
This morning, I didn’t want to put my collar on. I was ashamed. I was tired. I was angry. I didn’t want to be painted with a stained brush. But I did. Then later, as I visited sick parishioners in the hospital, I walked by a woman standing outside a room. As I continued to the elevator, she came up from behind, asking if I was a Catholic priest. I was ready to take the hit… but as I turned and said “Yes,” she asked, with tears in her eyes, if I would anoint her brother who was dying with cancer. No matter what I have thought about the collar these past few days, she saw it as a sign of hope and of the presence of Christ. If I decided not to wear it, her brother would not have received the sacrament he needed and her entire family might not have experienced comfort.
The collar is not about me. It is about Jesus Christ. It is about us remembering that we are not journeying alone in this world. Again, I am certainly unworthy to wear it, but I realize I’m called to wear it, not for myself, but for the sake of others. As I put it on, I now must remember to ask God’s help to grow into a holy priest of God, a bridge and not an obstacle.
Moving Past the Horror
I apologize for any pain I’ve caused while wearing the collar, the times I’ve ignored my duty to be a good, holy, faith-filled priest. I ask for prayers of forgiveness and strength.
I apologize to those who have been deeply wounded in the most horrific ways by members of the Church from the top down. The Church was called to be there to protect, and the men in charge have failed at times.
I do not know what tomorrow will bring, but I know I have to put that collar on. Ministry continues, even though it might be harder, because there are still souls that Christ is seeking to bring into His presence and peace. Know that you are in my prayers continually and in your kindness please throw up a prayer for me.
How often has someone asked you for prayer? How often have you prayed with him or her right on the spot? Doing so is a very important way to show God’s compassion. If you have never done so, here are five steps that will guide you. But don’t worry if someone says “No.” That’s OK too.