Robert H. Fenner
December 2012
“Mom, wake up! The cat is having kittens on my bed!”
Mom’s answer was, “That’s because she knows how kind you are, Robert. She knows that she is safe with you.” That same kindness was easy to see over the next fifty years of his life. I remember a time when dad was in the hospital and his meds were way off. Dad greeted Robert and I with, “Hello Father, glad to see that you brought a sister with you.” I panicked and was ready to go get a nurse. But Robert was ready to play along. He turned to me and said, “It’s OK. Leave him be.”
Robert was also a man of simple needs: a large helping of vegetables, a little bit of jazz, an episode of “Touched by an Angel,” a quiet Sunday at home, or a walk in the woods with his dogs. This is not to say that all these simple pleasures didn’t backfire on him from time to time, especially towards the end of his life. “But what are you going to do?” he would say.
Robert also had a grateful heart, despite three years of pain and many, many sleepless nights when he “could hear a blade of grass break.” I am grateful that he had those three extra years, despite stage four cancer and countless chemo sessions. And I am grateful that God gave him the strength to keep working. Even when he had to leave his job at the Chevy dealership, he took up working around the house. Who can forget the Facebook picture of Robert on a ladder getting ready to paint the house?
For me, his gratitude was inspiring. At the end of many Sunday conversations, right after he would say, “I think I’ll go park it some place,” he would say, “Thanks for calling.” And our very last conversation was no different. “Thanks for calling!” were his last words to me.
And my last words to him now are, “Thanks for teaching me about kindness, Robert. Thanks for teaching me about simplicity and gratitude. Thanks for being a good father, a good husband and a great brother. I choose to believe that you have gone home to be with God who is the source of all kindness, mercy and gratitude. I choose to believe that you went and “parked it” next to our brother Jesus.
Gracious is the Lord… Yes. Our God is merciful. The Lord protects the simple; when they are brought low, he saves them. Psalm 116